learning to steer your boat to calm waters

We are in a time of infinite connection and yet massive disconnection. 

With social media at our fingertips, we can instantly access the details of everyone’s lives. Almost anything you want to learn is available online, and often 24/7. Our knowledge is expanding at a rapid pace. AI is rapidly transforming our ability to work and learn. 

Yet, we are deeply disconnected—from our feelings, emotions, bodies, deep connection with others, nature,  and from our inner knowing.  In addition,

Our nervous systems haven’t evolved to this rapid pace of life. 

Our bodies don’t know the difference in a work problem and being chased by a tiger. With all the perpetual noise and rush, our nervous systems are hyperactive, cycling between stress, anger, and retreat. If you are anything like I was, you look relaxed on the outside but feel a deep sense of restlessness within. 

Do you remember being a child? Wild, free, without the constant dinging of our phones and technology?

Playful and connected to creativity and your imagination. You noticed the feeling of the wind, the tiny blossoms of the flowers, and the ants marching in a line. I remember freedom—both from responsibility, but also from rush and technology. I could explore and get dirty. 

There was a time when I realized I had lost this. I felt perpetually anxious inside my body and I could not figure out how to relax. I tried all the typical things—yoga, meditation (I couldn’t even come close to being still), and vacations. 

I felt like I was in a canoe with no oar, riding through turbulent waters and unable to steer my way.

I’d lost complete sight of which way I wanted to go. After spending years achieving for the sake of achieving, getting dopamine hit after hit, that I’d lost touch with my heart. In the brief moments of quiet, my heart spoke to me. In a powerful session I heard a voice loud and clear from inside my body. It alarmed as I heard it speak loud and clear, saying, “Get out.”

After 8 years of owning an orthodontic practice, I sold it. 

Between a minor health scare, and reflecting on my messages from my inner knowing, I proclaimed to my husband that I wanted to sell my practice and move to Costa Rica. Side note, Costa Rica is my happy place, where my body and soul relax into a pool of love and delight. To this request my husband responded, “Ummm, no.” He did, however, agree to sell the office and move to coastal South Carolina. 

For years I’d imagined how hard it would be to leave my practice and, yet, I realized how quickly I could be free. This was my first lesson: The shackles we imagine are often an illusion. Would that perspective have changed things? Perhaps, and I will never know. 

After selling my practice, my family and I moved to South Carolina.

My first job after leaving my orthodontic practice was working on a flower farm, picking daffodils in the soft morning light. 

Mind you, this job was not easy to come by. I begged for it, writing the farm several times before getting the response, “You are an orthodontist and, as such, highly overqualified for this job that pays minimum wage.” I politely explained that I needed this and was happy to do it for free, or in exchange for bouquets of flowers. In fact, I preferred this form of payment. I knew what I needed—to ground myself by digging in the dirt. Nature has a way of healing us, bringing us out of minds and into presence with ourselves and this beautiful world.

As I began to explore what I wanted to do next, I realized that even with all the time in the world my nervous system was still overactive. I felt restless inside. At this point, I’d done therapy, more yoga, exercise, and had started pursuing coaching (born out of my love for psychology and connection), but something was still missing. 

Out of personal exploration, I came across Embodiment Coaching. 

In Embodiment Coaching a greater emphasis is placed on getting to know the language of your body. I know this sounds weird, so please hear me out. It is about slowing down, connecting to your breath and presence, and starting to feel what is happening in all that space from the neck down. This can be the way you feel in your body, your emotions, and your thoughts.  

For me, a huge component was getting my nervous system into a state of calm, so that I could reconnect to my gut, heart, and creativity. I needed this so that I could remove my blinders and start seeing opportunity and possibility.

I had spent hours list-making, but when I slowed down and listened from a place openness,  the answers began to flow with a clarity I had never experienced before. I also realized that I could not do this alone. I needed to be in the presence of another person who was holding their nervous system in a state of relaxation, for mine to settle into that resonance. 

You might be wondering what this would mean for you. Would it mean quitting work? Selling your practice? Running off to Europe or Costa Rica? I get it, these may not feel like viable answers. 

I believe the answer is different for each person. I spent years looking at others, analyzing their decisions and whether I should follow in their footsteps. For one person, it may be as simple as more rest and lightening the load of their schedule. For another, selling their practice or creating a side gig. For someone else, it could be as simple as adding elements to the job to create value-aligned initiatives. 

For me it looks like this: Taking a break when my body needs it. Creating boundaries with my time. Designing a work life that allows for moments of joy and presence, such as walking in nature midday to reset, picking up my kids from school. It means sitting with my heart and asking it what it thinks about work opportunities before taking them. It means aligning with people who are doing good and spreading kindness, who share my values for inclusivity and love. It means dreaming and daring to ask this life for more. It means gratitude and play and delight. It means dancing through life. 

I don’t know what is in store for my career. Coaching is my way of following my heart. Each day I make connections with new, amazing people and keep my heart open to new opportunities. I may choose to own a practice again, doing it my way that it feels aligned with my needs and values. As I hold my nervous system in a state of openness, I am exploring opportunities, ranging from coaching to collaborations with businesses to clinical care.

I believe we are on the cusp of a new way of being. We are craving more—deeper connection, feeling present and engaged in our lives, spending time in nature, and being engaged in that state of openness to life. Through embodiment work, career changes, and courageous shifts 

I went from feeling lost on a turbulent river to steering my boat.

I have an oar and the tools to connect to what I really want. To actively choose which way to go and have the capacity to steer into glassy waters. This doesn’t mean a clear, simple path or the I found my one and only calling. That is the beauty of this—you get to choose. You can drift through life, tossed around by your wired nervous system, subconscious beliefs, and schedule. Feeling overwhelmed, rushed, disconnected and numb. 

Or, you choose more. I believe we all deserve this…A life worth living. A feeling of connection, empowerment, love, and delight. To leave the world a better place. To be aware of our nervous system—what brings us joy and ease vs distress. To be aware of our values and make intentional decisions. To be aware of our time—and stop allowing activities and people to steal it from us. 

There is no perfect. I am not recommending that we seek constant happiness, shirk our responsibilities, or live without gratitude for what we already have. I am asking that we allow ourselves to dream—to create a life you love now and not when you retire. 

I believe the first step is acknowledging this desire and that this is available for you. It may mean big changes or small, and sometimes it is as simple as learning the language of your body. 

We only have one life to live. (Unless, of course, we are reincarnated, in which case we should start thinking about the next life. I choose a dog.)

You get to pick…Stay drifting, carried by the currents and turbulent waters. Or, choose to be intentional, to turn towards people and connect, to slow down, to ask your heart what it wants, and to steer your boat into magnificent waters. I hope to see you out there, rowing our canoes, reaching out our hands to connect, if only for moment.