Embracing being human over being perfect
As I prepared for a recent podcast, I could feel my anxiety building. I was tempted to numb out— watch a Netflix show, scroll, and ignore these feelings. I know better now.
I layed down on my bed to take a moment with my anxiety. Listening to my own guided recording I gave myself 10 minutes to be with my feelings. I began by settling in, connecting to my breath, and simply noticing my body.
From there, I began to explore my anxiety—letting it know that I was here for it and listening. There was a tightness in my chest, my heart beating faster than usual, and a heavy sensation over my shoulders like a weighted blanket. The color black came to mind. A thought arose: I have to be perfect. This beautiful nugget of wisdom revealed itself and from there I could hold space for it. As I listened I could hear a voice inside me saying, “What if you don’t know what to say? What if you don’t make sense?”
When we sit with our feelings and connect to our bodies, our thoughts, stories, beliefs, and ideas reveal themselves. They are waiting to be heard, but most of the time we just don’t stop to listen.
As I sat with those thoughts, I gave it comfort.
A new thought arose—We don’t have to be perfect. We have to be human. We need to be honest and vulnerable and allow everything to unfold.
I think this applies to our clinical work as well. I’ve often felt I have to be perfect, to never make a mistake, to always present myself the “right” way. However, I believe our greatest work comes from being human. From allowing space to be perfectly imperfect. Being able to apologize if something goes wrong. Being able to tell our patients, “I don’t know, but I will research this and do my best to help you.” Showing our patients who we are beyond the white coat.
In my meditation with my anxiety, I lifted the heavy, black blanket from my back and gently placed it on my lap, as I would a weighted blanket. Suddenly, it shifted from weighing me down to grounding me.
The beauty of this is that when we give space for our feelings, they tell us exactly what we need to hear. All the swirling goes away and suddenly you see it…The scared part of you, the angry part, the confused part, and the belief that you’ve held onto since you were a small child. It unfolds and shows itself and you can give it the comfort it needs. From this place, I often find that peace washes over me. I’m no longer in the swirl. There is clarity and calm.
My wish is for each of us to hold that space for ourselves. If you need support, I welcome you to listen to my guided audio recordings, which are free on my website: www.drcamdenbrown.com
If I can be of any support in helping you hold this space, please reach out.
XO-
Dr. Camden
