Deciding means owning your power
I vividly recall that spring day…I was 10 years old sitting in a cafe with my grandfather and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat. Everything sounded so good! And, so, I went back and forth, back and forth. Suddenly, he raised his voice at me and said in an exasperated tone, “You are SO indecisive!”
His words stung.
You are indecisive.
This is who you are.
It’s your innate way of being.
His words left me feeling helpless…this is just how I am and I must accept it. Furthermore, every time I faced a decision that little voice would chime in, taunting me. I’m sure you know that voice. Some call in your inner gremlin. Others say it’s the collection of the voices of our parents, caregivers, and those around us that get imprinted during our childhood. Even with the best of childhoods, there will still be those darn little gremlins.
As I read this week I came across an enlightening way of viewing making decisions. It’s such a simple thought.
Deciding means owning your power.
Let that sink in.
When we seek answers from others we are saying: I give your opinion more credit than mine AND I don’t want to own this decision.
When we don’t decide we are saying: I don’t want to be responsible for the outcome.
With this in mind, I ask: Where are you not deciding? Where are you putting more faith in others than yourself? Where are you afraid to own the outcome?
Reframing decisions this way helps me to see it for what it is. As I carry this wisdom into my everyday life I can choose new thoughts when my inner gremlin shouts, “You are so indecisive!”
Now I can confidently say,
“No, you are wrong. I am powerful. I am the only one to make this decision. I know myself better than anyone else. I own my power. I own my intuition. I own my choices.”
And, from this place of power, of self-trust, I can decide.
But what about the BIG decisions? What if your mind is spinning, shooting out every possible suggestion, grasping for the “right one?” This is where we get to play…to get curious and ask our bodies for wisdom.
The first step is to connect with your body, and by body I mean the neck down. We live in a society that values the mind and the mental space. The mental space is valuable, however the mind is a problem solver. And, as we’ve all experienced, it’s easy to get caught in the swirl. Our left brain loves to jump in solve.
Our left brain says: Oh, you need an answer? Yes, let me come up with 100 possible solutions and weigh the pros and cons of each one. And, when you finally decide, let me again weigh the pros and cons, just in case we missed something!
Furthermore, your body has the intuition. It knows things well before you mind. More on that in another post. :)
Back to the steps…
1) Drop into your body. By quieting your mind you can begin to listen to the intuition of your body’s knowing.
Close your eyes. Notice your breath. Feel the support of your body on the chair. Become attentive to your heart.
Mmmm, can you feel it? Can you feel the new space you are entering?
2) Next, get curious. When we unlock curiosity, we start to play. Play evokes a sense of freedom and this allows more access to intuition.
Drop questions into your body such as,
Hmmm, I wonder if…
If I knew the answer…
If I were playing then I would choose…
From this state of groundedness, of connectedness, begin to gather the impressions. Often, we do know what we want. However, we subconsciously layer it with “shoulds” and expectations.
I invite you to try this exercise out. Be silly. Take the pressure off. Can you approach your decision from that state of childlike wonder?
To learn more about reconnecting with the innate wisdom of your body and reclaiming your power, please reach out.
