Should you change your career?
Being a dentist wasn’t my lifelong dream. For anyone who can relate, let me be clear: Just because I didn’t dream of doing it from a young age and it isn’t my whole life’s passion doesn’t mean I am not a d— good orthodontist, and the same applies to you!
When I was a child, I wanted to be an artist, but my dad said, “You can be anything you want to be, but not an artist!” My parents went to art school, and apparently being a starving artist is a real thing. In college, I studied psychology and loved it. Learning psychology came naturally and studying was weirdly enjoyable. Looking back, that shouldn’t be such a revelation…that learning can be easy and joyful.
(Core lesson: There may be something to the wild idea of following your curiosity)
My boyfriend encouraged me to pursue medicine instead and I left psychology to take a new path, which eventually led me to dentistry. The intention was good, but I see this as the second time I followed someone else’s advice over my heart’s desires. I have no regrets and love my life. However, I have taken a lonnnnng, winding road back to psychology.
Fast forward to 10 years out of residency…
Despite loving many parts of my job as an orthodontist, I got burnt out from owning a practice and doing the same job everyday. I cycled between stress and boredom and eventually sold my practice. As I reset and explored my next move, I wondered:
when someone isn’t happy, should they leave their job?
Or, is this simply the natural progression of life?
We’ve heard the sayings:
Life is suffering
(meaning that suffering is an inescapable part of life and that people must accept)
&
Wherever you go, there you are
(meaning that you are always with yourself- your anxiety, habits, thoughts)
so, How does one decide if they should leave their career or not?
key Takeaways
Here are the key concepts that have taken me (far too many) years to sort out. I like to think of these like the messages on the sides of a Dr. Bronner’s castille soap. Take them as you will.
1) The longer you stay in your mind, the more confused you are going to feel
All the lists, pros/ cons, and ponderings aren’t going to provide a clear, “this way forward” decision that you know in your bones.Our culture values the mind over the body. However, we are now discovering that most information travels from the body to the brain, not the other way around. What can be trusted is our body: our gut feelings, intuition, and the knowledge that comes from our heart. When we are in the swirl of our minds, we cannot access this precious information. By slowing down, grounding your body, and calming your nervous system, you will begin to hear the answers.
2) This is a very individualized decision and no amount of searching outside of you will answer it
Just as your mind is not the whole answer, someone else’s mind certainly isn’t either. I used to want someone to tell me what to do and I would search for answers based on THEIR experience. However, we are all unique and, I believe, we all have a special purpose. As you drop into stillness and listening, it will be accessed.
3) Shame, guilt, and shoulds will come back to haunt you until you face them
If we don’t face the depths, if we don’t get vulnerable and honest, those stories will keep playing in the background. You may not know it. You may not see or hear them clearly, but they will be there, steering the ship. They will influence what you do and how fast you do it. By going deep we can uncover these threads of tension and unravel them. We will see how they feel in your body, what they are trying to tell you, and what is beneath them, and with each unraveling your sense of lightness and freedom will grow.
4) Yes, I am. No, I am not.
Just kidding…This just reminded me of something I would read on Dr. Bronner’s and think, WTF does that mean?!
5) It may be helpful to get psycholigal testing and explore co-existing conditions
There may be other core ingredients such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD. Getting diagnosed will help you accept who you are, and seek additional help as needed. These will play a role in any job you take, and will help tease apart if the problem is this job vs you vs a combination.
5) Sometimes it isn’t about leaving your career, but shifting into greater authenticity.
I thought my choices were:
I leave orthodontics for good or I stay.
I suppress my feelings and stay or I leave.
I’ve discovered a third way forward: Aligned work and intentional productivity. This may look like a career change or a side gig. It may look like a multifaceted career as a multipotentialite. OR, it may be continuing in your career in a new way that feels authentic and true to you. It may be facing your limiting beliefs and the stories that are creating self-induced suffering. It may mean getting honest, creating boundaries, and recreating your career in a way that feels a balanced and delightful.
6) Coaching can create new awareness and challenge you to drop into greater honesty and vulnerability.
When we sit alone, with our minds, we can get caught up in our own stories. We may even stay in this place for years. Often the same ones play out over and over. Our life experiences have created patterns of thought and behavior to keep us safe. While we can absolutely ask ourselves powerful questions, there is nothing like the impact of having a coach deeply hold space for you, and guide you into greater vulnerability. My most significant insights have come when I am being coached.
These are my key takeways, bottled into one tiny blog post.
If I can be of help with your journey, I invite you to reach out for connection call.
Sending love and light,
Dr. Camden
